Freakin' Laser Beams...

Well, the wait is over (for those of you who were curious). It's finally time to announce the test that will determine if this is indeed the greatest invention of all time: The Hairmax Laser Comb! Yes, that's correct. A comb with lasers that regrows hair. Doesn't seem possible does it? Well, in the 21st Century many things are possible. I'll soon find out if hair regrowth is one of them.

I actually purchased this over a month ago, but the back orders forced me to wait a while. The comb is expensive for sure (over $500), but you have 6 months to try it out or you get your money back (less a 15% "restocking" fee). At first I wouldn't allow myself to buy this product because I wasn't willing to cede money to any sort of personal vanity. When I thought about this as a scientific trial however I felt compelled to try it out (while doing a public service for all of you). Years back I tried Propecia. I decided I wasn't comfortable with taking medication (though Propecia at least stopped me from losing more hair). Lasers aren't invasive, plus they seem cool. As a kid I always thought we should be able to do more with lasers, and now I have the opportunity to do just that. I figure I have nothing to lose really (except the rest of my hair). Not only that, but how cool would it be if this really works? One of the biggest problems that man has ever faced would be obliterated: hair loss. Look at these results. The guys aren't lookers like me, but look at that regrowth!

I'll post periodically on the progress and have links to pictures so everyone can follow-along. We can even take a vote in December as to whether I should return this puppy.

For a "beginning" photo go here.

Who Are You Who is So Wise in The Ways of Science?

Many of you who know Yours Truly are aware of an impending study that will truly test the limits of modern science. I am not merely a blogger who lives life on the sidelines. In less than 48 hours I will begin a real-life test of one the purported greatest technologies ever promised to mankind (a brief aside: what is "mankind"? To understand it you first must look at the words that make it up: "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean? It's a mystery and so is "mankind").

Anyways, I will kick this momentous test off very soon and I will be providing regular updates so that you the (hopefully) loyal reader can make your determination for yourself and not rely merely on my opinion.

I don't want you coming away from this reading without any useful information, so I offer you this new technology nugget: Google Maps for the BlackBerry now has the ability to link to the GPS in the 8800! I noticed the link on my Google Homepage today on my 8800 and downloaded it immediately. All you do is press "zero" and it finds you and places a blinking blue dot where you are. I know it will "follow" you just like a normal GPS, but I'm not sure if it dynamically updates directions that it gives you. I'm sure if it doesn't it will soon. The irony here of course is that the BB8800 comes with a SW package (TelNAV) that you can pay $15 a month for that does the same exact thing. Man I'd hate to compete with Google. I haven't tried it for VZ's version of the 8800 (the "World Phone" which is a funny thing to call it since all of Cingular's phones are "World Phones"), but I assume it works on their phone too.

The TelNAV vs. Google discussion reminds me of a great George Carlin bit I saw once about prostitution:
Selling is legal
F*cking is legal
Why isn't selling f*cking legal?
Why is it ILLEGAL to sell something, but perfectly legal to give it away for free?

Homage to Christopher Walken and All Who Impersonate Him

This is an atypical post for me in that I have nothing to complain about or to poke fun at. I merely want to make everyone smile (and hopefully laugh). Why? Because that's the kind of guy that I am.

I'm a big Christopher Walken fan. I just think the guy is funny. I first saw him in Batman Returns, which wasn't one of his funnier roles. I learned of his comedic capabilities when I saw him in numerous SNL episodes. When he appeared Pulp Fiction he delivers one of the best monologues ever in a movie making this (in my opinion) the best cameo appearance ever in film.

What makes Walken special of course is his cadence. No one else on the planet has unnatural pauses the way he does. Walken's greatest contribution (and this is not to take anything away from him as an actor) is that he's possibly the funniest person to do an impression of. Jay Mohr was the first person that I saw do a great Walken impersonation in a comedy routine where he talks about Walken meeting his dog when they worked together on a movie.

I couldn't find a clip but the text is still funny (you need to imagine Walken and his unnatural pauses with his NY accent). As best as I can recollect:

CW: Jay (p) your dog (p) has no tail. That's crazy!
JW: Chris, if you had the power of flight or a tail which would you pick?
CW: That's (p) the dumbest question I've ever heard. Of course (p), I'd pick a tail. Because (p) if I had a tail (p) I could still fly in an airplane. Having a tail lets people know how you're feeling. Hey! That's Chris! Look at his tail! He's upset!

This doesn't do it justice. To show of Mohr's skill in impersonating Walken check out this clip from the Simpsons.

Personally though, no one holds a candle to Kevin Spacey. He's just dead-on. The first clip is from an SNL sketch where Spacey is playing Walken doing an audition for Han Solo in Star Wars. Even if you don't remember the scene (when Obi Wan first meets Solo) it's still funny.

The second clip really shows off how talented Kevin Spacey is (this is more of a treat for all you Kevin Spacey fans out there than having much to do with Christopher Walken). It's from an episode of Inside the Actors Studio. The Walken impersonation is @4:45, but it's worth watching the whole thing.

Enjoy!

Life, Liberty and the Right to Urinate on the Side of the Road Without Your Picture Winding Up on Google

The "right" to privacy has always been a right that I don't really understand. Some rights seem clear cut enough: I can see why you wouldn't want your financial information publicly available. People often take privacy "rights" to extremes that just make no sense. Witness the roll out of FastTrak in the Bay Area (system to pay tolls -- like EZPass). Many people were concerned that they were now trackable due to their FasTrak in their car (never mind the cell phone all of these people use on a daily basis). So California's Dept. of Transportation had to send people mylar bags to prevent the unwanted tracking of their cars. Personally I think people need to get over themselves. Why on Earth would anyone want to track you? In fact, what California actually does is use FasTrak to get accurate data for the wonderful 511 service (for those who have never used it there's both a web site and a telephone number that is voice automated and gives you real time traffic info -- talk about a great service!).

The hysteria over privacy has gotten worse with the advent of Google's Street View. People seem terrified that someone may have a picture of them and post it on the internet. The Consumerist (great blog) has an amusing story on this here (it's worth clicking on the link just to see the photo -- talk about bad timing. You're supposed to look first before you go! And what happened to a tree?). Google's position seems pretty reasonable: if you have a complaint let us know and we'll take down the picture. In general there's nothing to stop anyone from taking a random photo and posting it on their web site. Presumably people's concern is that Google is much more visible than a random person's web site. Again though, who really cares? If there's a random photo of me on Street View it's not really a big deal to me. Furthermore, if I wanted to be on Street View I have no idea how I'd find myself.

Juxtaposed to the whole "Street View-gate" is the fact that people (in general) seem to be willing to do anything to get publicity (some could argue this author is guilty merely by the publishing of this blog). You Tube and Pod Casts have gained intense popularity for just this reason. Anytime you watch a sporting event you'll see fans pushing and shoving to get on TV. All the news shows that have glass backdrops that let you see the people on the street are always filled with people pushing and shoving to get on TV. Obviously the difference is that these people are choosing to be filmed vs. not choosing. I just wonder what percentage of the people who are feigning outrage at Google's "blatant" violation of privacy are the same people who'd do anything to get on TV.

NHL Reaches New Low

Growing up I used to watch hockey all the time. I really enjoyed it. When the NHL went on strike a few years ago I wrote them off as a league. Throwing away an entire season is unacceptable. This is entertainment. Fans have so many choices as it is, why on Earth would they spend their time and money on a sports league that turns it's back on the fans? I haven't watched a game since and I don't plan to every again.

Well, we're in our second Stanley Cup Finals after the strike and it's clear that no one cares. Look at the Stanley Cup ratings for game 3. It was the lowest ratings EVER for NBC in prime time. It lost out to a re-run of "The West Wing" in July. That's the equivalent of a girl turning you down for a date to wash her hair. Only a little over a million people watched the game. That's nothing. I think more people watch a mid-week baseball game than watch the Stanley Cup Finals. If this doesn't send a message to the NHL that they're in serious trouble and need to think about what they have to do to revive this league then I don't know what will.