Everyone Named "Mike" Please Stand Up

Those who watched the San Francisco vs. Arizona Monday Night Football game were treated to a rarity: three Mikes in the broadcast booth! That's right THREE! Mike Dikta and Mike Golic were color commentators while Mike Greenberg did the play-by-play. The only person not named Mike was sideline reporter Bonnie Bernstein (though she joking suggested she should change her name). In many ways the broadcast booth represented a microcosm of what has been my life -- the complete futility of having the same name that everyone else has. In fact, there are so many Mikes out there that almost no one even knows me by my first name (hence the name of this blog). My freshman English class in high school had 30 students, 15 guys and six (count em SIX) Michaels (who all went by Mike of course).

Over the last 50 years no name has been more popular than Michael. Michael was the 2nd most popular name in the 60s and #1 in the 70s, 80s and 90s. A brief look at the top names for the 21st Century shows Michael running a solid #2 behind Jacob (seriously, who would pick Jacob over Michael?). At some point there are so many Mikes that the name becomes completely useless. It's just as effective as the pronoun "you" (well, it's slightly more effective since it's at least indicates gender). What motivates parents to continue to give their children this name? If you go through the lists of most popular names each decade there is a natural rotation in the top 10. Inexplicably though Michael/Mike has stayed at the top.

Despite the overwhelming popularity of the name there have been surprisingly few famous Mikes or Michaels over the past 25 years. Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan come to mind, but the list drops off after that. Michael Douglas, Michael Moore and the now-infamous Michael Vick. Mike Meyers and Mike Tyson are the famous Mikes. That's a pretty sorry list considering how many of us there are. There hasn't been a Michael as President either (though we came close with Dukakis). The only Mike running in '08 is Huckabee, and he doesn't have a chance in hell of winning.