Product of the Year Candidate that You Can Actually Use

Dauber's World is sometimes criticized (unfairly) that the Dauber's World Product of the Year Awards often go to products that no one would ever actually use like the wine rack (though Dauber's World would still love to see more women using the 2007 Product of the Year award winner). Dauber's World is, if nothing else, a man of the people so in the spirit of providing you (the presumably loyal reader) with something useful Dauber's World presents the Travel John.

Before even describing the product (which is probably somewhat obvious anyways) Dauber's World wants to give kudos to the graphic designer who came up with the genius logo for Travel John (pictured). Not only are the traditional bathroom logos squeezing their legs together (presumably because they need to pee) you can see sweat coming from their heads! Ahh yes -- everyone has been there at some point in their life. Dauber's World feels your pain.

Travel John actually has a few products, but look at the description of the bread-and-butter disposable urinal product:

Each Bag is made of strong plastic, that is puncture resistant and contains our Revolutionary LIQSORB® polymer pouch that solidifies liquids instantly into a Leak-proof, odorless, spill-proof gel that is non-toxic and safe for disposal in any waste bin.

Other features include a "unisex adapter" (does Dauber's World even need to make a sarcastic remark here? This is the best ever use of that phrase) as well as a volume indicator and spill guard.

Right now you're probably thinking that it couldn't possibly get any better, but it does. They actually have (Dauber's World is not making this up) a video demonstrating how it works (note you have to hit the pause button, then play to see the video on the site)! Whoever designed this product actually thought quite a bit about the problem and did a commendable job devising an almost perfect solution. The real downside of the product is that there's no way to discretely use it. Just think of how much more useful this would be if it could be used without anyone knowing that you were using it. Imagine being stuck in a meeting and needing to go to the bathroom, but you can't leave (for whatever reason). The way the disposable urinal is currently designed doesn't afford you the ability to use it in that situation. Solving this problem would certainly catapult Travel John into the class of other life-changing inventions such as the steam engine, the light bulb, the airplane, penicillin, the transistor and internet porn.

Early Favorite for 2008 Product of the Year

Yes, Dauber's World knows it's early, but there's an early favorite for the (much coveted) 2008 Product of the Year award: the iCarta iPod Stereo Dock and Bath Tissue Holder. This is something that Dauber's World couldn't make up if it tried. How often have you (the loyal reader) been sitting on the toilet wishing that you could listen to your iPod in stereo without being encumbered by annoying ear buds? And while the geniuses at iCarta were doing this they made sure to simultaneously solve another problem: where to hold the toilet paper! At $79.99 the iCarta is a bargain too. the iCarta reminds Dauber's World of the German expression "eierlegende wollmilchsau" which translates to "egg-laying wool-milk-sow". How long until some geneticist comes up with one of those?

2007 Dauber Product of the Year Award

Well, it's a little early to give out the coveted Dauber Product-of-the-Year award, but I stumbled across a clear winner and need to look no further: the Wine Rack. Made by the same company that makes the Beer Belly. This product is genius for so many reasons I don't even know where to begin. First, it helps women sneak alcohol into stadiums which is nothing but goodness. To make it even better it stores the liquid in a bladder concealed in a bra, making the woman look (ahem) bustier. And it's called the Wine Rack. WINE RACK! It works on so many levels (you know because you store wine in a wine rack, and rack is a synonym for...never mind).

I did a little research on the Beer Belly -- certainly a very good idea (another clever name by the way). If you want to sneak liquids into a stadium (sporting event/concert) I think this is the way to go. The reason the Wine Rack gets the coveted Dauber Product of the Year Award for 2007 is because the Wine Rack does this while augmenting something that people like to have augmented (judging from all the plastic surgery done in that area, though I suppose Pamela Anderson is responsible for a third of it). A beer belly isn't something you want -- the opposite sex typically doesn't look fondly upon them. Being "bustier" on the other hand (not too busty, just a bit more) -- that's something we can all drink to.