It's the Little Differences

I'm on the road this week in Europe and as I sat through various stages of the travel process I started thinking of Lou's comment in "22 Short Films About Springfield" (the Pulp Fiction spoof episode on "The Simpsons" -- mainly it's the little things that make the difference (in the episode he's comparing McDonalds to Krusty Burger, I pasted a transcript below in case you don't remember it or never saw it courtesy these guys).

Anyways here are some "little differences" that made me wish I was back in the US and A:

When I landed in Frankfurt I had to make a connection through to Munich. For those of you who've ever flown through Frankfurt you're aware that it's not a simple change, the biggest pain is that you have to go back through security. In Germany (and in all airports in Europe that I've ever been to) they don't have a ramps/tables (or whatever you would call it) in front of the X-Ray machines to lay out your bin/luggage and put your stuff in it while you're waiting for the person in the front of the line. They only have table space for what amounts to one suitcase worth. This may seem insignificant, but the net effect is that each person has to wait until they get to the front of the line to take out their laptop, remove their coat and find their quart zip lock (called "zip-top" here) resulting in a much longer wait. You have to wonder though, I'm sure lots of the Europeans have been to the US. You'd think at least one of them must have noticed that the line moves faster there because they have the tables laid out. There must be some reason that all of Europe is refusing to put tables in front of the X-Ray machines, but for the life of me I don't know what it is.

The next little difference (and this one is over-reported, but I couldn't resist) is the whole situation w/ non-alcoholic drinks in Europe. For starters, no one here seems to like anything cold. Even something out of the fridge seems warm to me. If you ask for ice they give you two measly cubes. I have to explicitly state that I want an entire glass of ice (and then explain further that I'm American) to get a substantial amount of ice. I wonder how the practice evolved that Europeans don't like ice and Americans want tons of it. To make matters worse of course they're incredibly stingy with soda (or "pop" as some of you would call it). I always thought this stuff was cheap, but here's beer is cheaper (although that's a little difference I could easily get use to. The beer in the US doesn't hold a candle to Central European beers). Of course the concept of free refills is completely foreign here, and at fast food restaurants they're careful to mark a fill line on the cups that doesn't even fill the cup! To further confuse me though (back on the ice thing), Europeans do put ice in the one place where I hate ice -- juice! Every time I get breakfast here I get OJ with ice in it. Why would you serve me "pure" coca-cola, but then put ice in orange juice? That doesn't make any sense. Of course, the juice here is much worse than in the US (though that does make sense -- we have Florida close by), so I end up not having a lot of it.

The last little difference that I'll bring up today (this post is getting to long) is how Europeans will stand up while the plane is still taxing to get their bags and form a line at the door before the seatbelt light has gone off. This I don't have a problem with at all (more efficient for me, and if they get hurt it's their decision), I'm just amused by the hypocrisy of it (at least from the German standpoint). Germans have to be the most conscientious (anal?) country I've ever seen when it comes to following rules (which makes most things pretty efficient here I must say). For example, when I was in Berlin last year people refused to cross the street unless the "walk" light was illuminated (one woman wasn't paying attention and followed me halfway across the street when it said "don't want". When she looked up and realized what she'd done she scurried back to where she started to wait for a light to tell her she could walk). I just thought if you're going to follow the lights on the streets, you'd listen to the flight attendants on the plane.

Scene from 22 Short Films About Springfield
Lou: Y'know I went to the McDonalds in uh Shelbyville the other day.
Wiggum: The McWhat?
Lou: Uh, the McDonalds restaraunt. I never heard of it either but they have over 2000 locations in this State alone.
Eddie: Hmm. Must have sprung up overnight.
Lou: You know the funniest thing though? It's the little differences.
Wiggum: Example
Lou: Well at McDonalds you can buy a Krusty Burger with cheese, right, but, they don't call it a Krusty Burger with cheese.
Wiggum: Get out.. well what do they call it?
Lou: A Quarter Pounder with cheese.
Wiggum: A Quarter Pounder with cheese? Well I can picture the cheese, but... uh. Do they have 'Krusty Partially Gelagnated Non Dairy Gum Based Beverages'?
Lou: MmmHmm, they call them "Shakes".