On The Road Again: Dauber Compliments Chinese Hotels?

Well, those of you that know me (which I presume is EVERYONE since why else would you read this blog) are certainly aware of my propensity to complain. It should therefore stun you to learn that in this blog I will praise, extol, applaud honor and adulate the hotels in China. One of my least favorite parts of international travel is the hotels. I typically travel abroad in Europe and while I love Europe the hotels are just awful (unless you spend a fortune), and even then they leave much to be desired. Now I know what you're thinking, "Dauber must be in a high-class hotel in China". You'd be correct now (I'm in the Grand Hyatt in Beijing), but this is also true of the Radisson I stayed at in Shanghai. A Radisson for G-d's sake! As my friend put it, "Radisson's aren't even fit for rodents!" Typically she's 100% correct, but check out the Radisson that I was staying in.

Chinese hotels are amazing. For starters they have normal sized showers and beds (please take note Europe!). They also give you all the soap and shampoo you need (again, Europe, no one is fooled by your "universal soap" -- I don't wash my face, body and hair with the same surfactant). Chinese hotels don't stop there however. The service is amazing. If there's a problem they take care of it in a hurry. Many of you have noticed that I'm what they call "high maintenance" so this is highly desirable for me. Also, all the hotels have gyms AND swimming pools (something else you won't find in many hotels in Europe or in major US cities). I stay at a great hotel in SF every-other week for Wharton (Le Meridien) and it has an amazing gym, but not pool/hot tub. The pools here aren't just pools, they're mock-ups of tropical islands!

The clincher though is the TV. Anyone who has gone to Europe knows that the TV is intolerable -- don't even turn it on. The only redeeming quality of European TV is that RTL (the German station) shows "advertisements" for a particular genre of 1 900 numbers late at night (if you're in to that sort of thing, and I'm obviously not). The only US TV station they typically have is CNN International which goes out of its way to NOT tell you any US sports scores (they'll tell you every cricket score on the planet and not tell you who won the MNF game!). Well look at the TV lineup I've had in my hotels: CNN, Bloomberg, CNBC, ESPN, HBO, Cinemax and a bonus movie station! I've never seen Cinemax in a hotel in the States, but to see it in China is amazing.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of things that are different (and complaint worthy) when traveling in China, but the hotels are not one of them.

It's the Little Differences

I'm on the road this week in Europe and as I sat through various stages of the travel process I started thinking of Lou's comment in "22 Short Films About Springfield" (the Pulp Fiction spoof episode on "The Simpsons" -- mainly it's the little things that make the difference (in the episode he's comparing McDonalds to Krusty Burger, I pasted a transcript below in case you don't remember it or never saw it courtesy these guys).

Anyways here are some "little differences" that made me wish I was back in the US and A:

When I landed in Frankfurt I had to make a connection through to Munich. For those of you who've ever flown through Frankfurt you're aware that it's not a simple change, the biggest pain is that you have to go back through security. In Germany (and in all airports in Europe that I've ever been to) they don't have a ramps/tables (or whatever you would call it) in front of the X-Ray machines to lay out your bin/luggage and put your stuff in it while you're waiting for the person in the front of the line. They only have table space for what amounts to one suitcase worth. This may seem insignificant, but the net effect is that each person has to wait until they get to the front of the line to take out their laptop, remove their coat and find their quart zip lock (called "zip-top" here) resulting in a much longer wait. You have to wonder though, I'm sure lots of the Europeans have been to the US. You'd think at least one of them must have noticed that the line moves faster there because they have the tables laid out. There must be some reason that all of Europe is refusing to put tables in front of the X-Ray machines, but for the life of me I don't know what it is.

The next little difference (and this one is over-reported, but I couldn't resist) is the whole situation w/ non-alcoholic drinks in Europe. For starters, no one here seems to like anything cold. Even something out of the fridge seems warm to me. If you ask for ice they give you two measly cubes. I have to explicitly state that I want an entire glass of ice (and then explain further that I'm American) to get a substantial amount of ice. I wonder how the practice evolved that Europeans don't like ice and Americans want tons of it. To make matters worse of course they're incredibly stingy with soda (or "pop" as some of you would call it). I always thought this stuff was cheap, but here's beer is cheaper (although that's a little difference I could easily get use to. The beer in the US doesn't hold a candle to Central European beers). Of course the concept of free refills is completely foreign here, and at fast food restaurants they're careful to mark a fill line on the cups that doesn't even fill the cup! To further confuse me though (back on the ice thing), Europeans do put ice in the one place where I hate ice -- juice! Every time I get breakfast here I get OJ with ice in it. Why would you serve me "pure" coca-cola, but then put ice in orange juice? That doesn't make any sense. Of course, the juice here is much worse than in the US (though that does make sense -- we have Florida close by), so I end up not having a lot of it.

The last little difference that I'll bring up today (this post is getting to long) is how Europeans will stand up while the plane is still taxing to get their bags and form a line at the door before the seatbelt light has gone off. This I don't have a problem with at all (more efficient for me, and if they get hurt it's their decision), I'm just amused by the hypocrisy of it (at least from the German standpoint). Germans have to be the most conscientious (anal?) country I've ever seen when it comes to following rules (which makes most things pretty efficient here I must say). For example, when I was in Berlin last year people refused to cross the street unless the "walk" light was illuminated (one woman wasn't paying attention and followed me halfway across the street when it said "don't want". When she looked up and realized what she'd done she scurried back to where she started to wait for a light to tell her she could walk). I just thought if you're going to follow the lights on the streets, you'd listen to the flight attendants on the plane.

Scene from 22 Short Films About Springfield
Lou: Y'know I went to the McDonalds in uh Shelbyville the other day.
Wiggum: The McWhat?
Lou: Uh, the McDonalds restaraunt. I never heard of it either but they have over 2000 locations in this State alone.
Eddie: Hmm. Must have sprung up overnight.
Lou: You know the funniest thing though? It's the little differences.
Wiggum: Example
Lou: Well at McDonalds you can buy a Krusty Burger with cheese, right, but, they don't call it a Krusty Burger with cheese.
Wiggum: Get out.. well what do they call it?
Lou: A Quarter Pounder with cheese.
Wiggum: A Quarter Pounder with cheese? Well I can picture the cheese, but... uh. Do they have 'Krusty Partially Gelagnated Non Dairy Gum Based Beverages'?
Lou: MmmHmm, they call them "Shakes".